“Noni,” the “Vomit Fruit”

Noni, the Vomit Fruit“Health! The key to the sucker’s purse!” – Goodlow Bender in The Road To Wellville

Wikipedia describes “Noni”–

“Noni grows in shady forests as well as on open rocky or sandy shores….The plant flowers and fruits all year round and produces a small white flower. The fruit is a multiple fruit that has a pungent odor when ripening, and is hence also known as cheese fruit or even vomit fruit. It is oval and reaches 4-7 cm in size. At first green, the fruit turns yellow then almost white as it ripens. It contains many seeds. It is sometimes called starvation fruit. Despite its strong smell and bitter taste, the fruit is nevertheless eaten as a famine food and, in some Pacific islands, even a staple food, either raw or cooked. Southeast Asians and Australian Aborigines consume the fruit raw with salt or cook it with curry. The seeds are edible when roasted….” (source)

Hires RootbeerDoesn’t sound very appetizing, does it? No matter, for the enterprising individual. Package something attractively, and make a host of vauge, inflated claims incorporating buzzwords like “health,” or “natural” or “environment,” and you can sell damned near anything. Particularly in America.*

Which is exactly what the Noni-fruit millionaires did, creating a stench above and beyond the smell of the Noni fruit itself. The stench of “snake-oil cures” and those who promote them for vulgar profit.

The same exaggerated health claims which made the Noni millionaires were made about sarsaparilla in the late 19th century, but sarsparilla’s chief application at present is as the flavoring agent for sarsaparilla soda and, of course, root beer, which is made (the real stuff) from the roots of the sarsaparilla plant.

Panacea turned pop. That’s funny.

Allen’s Sarsaparilla

Shakespeare’s old admonition, “All that glisters is not gold…” holds true here, for both the consumers and the purveyors of vomit-fruit juice. Here are a small collection of links on the “noni controversy.” Read them, and be well. Have some broccoli. It will do everything that noni will do for you, except its essence , while not strictly “floral,” will probably not resemble either vomit or overripe cheese. Unless it’s old, rancid boiled broccoli that’s been between somebody’s toes for a week.

A cheesy, starry-eyed take on a shyster’s “success story”

The Noni Scam, from “Corporate Narc” (check the Google ads being served at the top of this page. I quote Nelson Muntz from the Simpsons: “HA HA!”)

A very fine page from B.C. Skeptics describing how to identify a health-scam, and showing how Tahitian vomit-juice fits the formula.

Nevertheless, despite the handslap purveyors of vomit-juice received in the U.S., the following article describes how the European Union is now poised to authorize the distribution and sale of Noni across the 27 nation bloc.

“Stinky Drink Gets the EU Whiff of Approval.”


*Other nations are susceptible to this strategy as well: the snake oil strategy in India recently has led to the sale of what are essentially packaged cowpats.

Praise it

Flush This

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