Dirty Thief

An elderly Australian woman was pelted with human feces while withdrawing cash from an ATM and then robbed by a man posing as a good citizen.

The 85-year-old victim was hit from behind with the feces just as she withdrew an undetermined amount of cash from a Chatswood ATM, Adelaide Now reports.

Police said a stranger then came to the woman’s aid and helped her to a washroom to clean herself before reaching in her handbag and stealing her wallet with the cash.

Police are looking for a stocky Asian man around 40 years old wearing a baseball cap. They believe the attacker and the thief are the same person.

That really stinks.

Source: http://blogs.app.com/saywhat/2010/11/03/woman-hit-with-poo-at-atm-robbed-by-good-samaritan/

Stench figurative and literal: Naples’ garbage crisis deepens

Back in January, I made three separate posts about the mountains of garbage accumulating in the streets of Naples, Italy: “Naples Stinks,” “Followup: Sardinians Resent Naples’ Garbage,” and “Followup: Naples’ Garbage Crisis Laid Bare.” Now, here’s the latest–

(There are two kinds of human filth, here. One is obvious and may be cleaned up with garbage trucks and street cleaners. The other kind is harder to see and is notoriously hard to clean up.)

Camorra cause a stink in Naples

[via telegraph.co.uk]

The Mob has proved no better than Italy’s inept municipal authorities at running waste disposal business properly.

(Excerpt)

..the Mob has proved no better than Italy’s inept municipal authorities at running the service properly. Barely any new waste processing facilities have been built in Naples for decades, and since last December, the region’s dumps have been full to capacity and unable to take any more. Hence the refuse piles 20 feet high in Naples’ once-picturesque alleyways, and hence what Neapolitans call La Puzza, or The Stink.

With it has come another unpleasant smell – less easily detectable but just as familiar in Italian public life. It is the whiff of corruption, and the sneaking feeling that the situation got so out of hand because of murky links between the Comorra and the city’s administration, stymying modern refuse projects that might threaten their waste rackets.

“The fish starts to stink from the head, so we should blame the political class,” said Quarto Gennaro, 51, nursing an espresso in a cafe in Forcella, an old-time Camorra district packed with loafing, jowelly men resembling Sopranos extras. “They always act together with the criminals….”

Read the full article

A Bloodsucker on the Web

Anyone who’s ever had an abcessed tooth and the resultant root canal knows the misery it can bring. It hurts like hell, and it stinks, both literally and figuratively. A rotten tooth literally stinks of putrefaction and decay, to the core. And paying $1000 for a root canal out of pocket, followed by another $1750 for the crown because you don’t have dental insurance, stinks too.

What stinks even more is when health care specialists go at their profession with the first and foremost goal of getting filthy, stinking rich on you. This stench amplifies when they botch a procedure. Which they do, more often than many people realize.

But what stinks most of all is the maggot who creates a codified system for health professionals, designed to facilitate their rise into the ranks of the rich and leisurely, with virtually no regard to the suffering engendered by the obscenely high cost of health care for young and old alike, in the United States.

Mind you, that’s just my opinion. This guy could be a saint, and I could be the bad guy here. Read it and decide for yourself.

Assy McGee is Back

Assy McGee. Cop. Loose cannon. Romantic. Drunk.

What Sly Stallone would look like if he had an ass for a face.

On Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim next Sunday, 12:30 am.

I had a look at Assy’s website. There’s a “fartboard” there, featuring audio clips of Assy’s various gassy exclamations, e.g., the hard-boiled “Fart of Simmering Rage,” the poignant “2 a.m. Fart of Lonliness,” and the comedic “You can say that again Sanchez!” fart. Among others.

http://www.adultswim.com/shows/assy/fartboard/index.html

Posted nearly simultaneously at Fist of Blog

A smelly slogan

Last August, after an all day airshow, my brother and I were making the long trek across the brown fields back to the car when we encountered a spilled porta-pottie. A truck had been transporting the odoriferous receptacle and it had been upset somehow, dumping its contents onto the ground.

The smell was abominable and we gave it wide berth, but not before I snapped a picture of the tanker truck that was there to vacuum up the mess–

Stinky Jobs

CNN.com/Living has posted a list, via careerbuilder.com, of 20 “offbeat jobs.” Several of these jobs involve stench in one form or another, and therefore interest us here at Things That Stink:

Breath odor evaluator

Job description: Sniff morning breath, coffee-breath, garlic breath, etc. Rate breath. Stinky subject then uses breath freshening product, odor-evaluator sniffs breath again and rates it a second time.

Flatulence smell-reduction underwear maker

Job description: Fashion special undies with built in filters to capture various noxious butt-gases (hydrogen sulfide, most notably). Worn by people with gastrointestinal problems.

Dog-breath evaluator

Job description: Sniff dog’s breath in order to evaluate effect of dog’s diet on his chops-stench. Ratings: 1-10 (10 being worst) with additional categories of sweaty, salty, musty, fungal or decaying.

Porta-potty servicer

Job description: Pretty much self-explanatory. But I betcha they find some nasty shit, both literally and figuratively, inside those stinky little booths.

See the entire list at CNN.com

The New World Odor

Tackling the world’s economic woes with odoriferous chemical cocktails. That’s novel. And stupid.

Smelly Davos unveils new world odor

DAVOS, Switzerland (CNN) — If there’s a sweet smell at this year’s Global Economic Forum, it’s unlikely to be success.

With troubled markets threatening to leave an unpleasant stink over proceedings, this year’s Davos summit has enlisted the help of a perfumer to ensure gathered world leaders and business chiefs don’t turn up their noses.

Christophe Laudamiel, a scientist who stirs up scent cocktails for New York-based International Flavors and Fragrances has spent the past six months developing a range of odors he hopes will help delegates tackle the financial meltdown.

“Even though Davos has a very corporate image, it is looking to the future and the world of olfaction, of smell and perfumery is part of the future,” Laudamiel told CNN in the lightly-scented entrance lobby of the Forum’s main venue.

Laudamiel, and his collaborator, Berlin-based Christophe Hornetz, have installed eight fragrance dispensers throughout the conference center, squirting tiny whiffs of his specially blended aromas into the thin mountain air being inhaled by Microsoft founder Bill Gates, U.N. chief Ban Ki-moon and many others.

Read the complete article

Food Service Employees Must Wash

Almost goes without saying, right?

Wrong.

Businesses beware of how you treat stink, stinkers

Beth Stephenson
The Edmond Sun

EDMOND, OKLAHOMA— We love our pretty town and cheer for local businesses to do well, but lately, I’ve had my loyalty a little bruised. It’s one issue if the product or service is not to my taste, but often the issue is customer service or something more subtle that can and ought to be corrected. Edmond businesses reflect on our whole city, so let’s shape up some of these little problems.

Your employees must wash. Not only their bodies and hair, but also their clothing. It’s one thing for a laborer to get a little ripe, but if that happens, they need to stay in the open air. It’s horrid if that stinker is handling your food….

Read the entire article

Charmed, I’m Sure

Having watched a few episodes of Adult Swim’s Metalocalypse, I find the following quite amusing, in a lowbrow sort of way.

Oh – and I think it stinks, too. Putrid. Almost entirely without redeeming artistic or social merit. But, then, I’m a product of my generation, having been born at the tail-end of the baby boomers. I can’t quite get my head around the concept of “the worse it is, the better.” I’m just not “progressive” enough, I guess.

Mind you, grim things can be artistic. And there’s no questioning that the following is art. It’s just not good art. It has no nuance, no subtlety. It’s garish, gratuitous, and sophomoric. And that’s what makes it “good.” That’s the standard to which it aspires.

And to think that my parents thought that Alice Cooper was the Devil.

SPLATTERED MERMAIDS, the Swedish death/grind band featuring members of DERANGED and VISCERAL BLEEDING, has issued the following update:

“The new SPLATTERED MERMAIDS album, ‘Stench of Flesh’, is complete! Listen to one new song and view cover artwork exclusively on MySpace.

“The album was recorded in early January 2008 and has 10 songs (including one instrumental track and a re-recorded version of ‘By My Blade’). To be released via Czech label Bizarre Leprous Productions [on] March 15, 2008.”

According to a press release, the CD “[is] brutal as hell” featuring “straight-forward deathgrind combined with groovy breakdowns and guttural vocals… the band’s most brutal album to date!!” Other songtitles set to appear on the CD include “Gruesome”, “Circular Holes in the Cranial Structure”, “Corporal Manifestation”, “Spliced Spleen Spices”, “Throat Unsafe from a Pair of Scissors” and “Stench of Flesh”. (source)

Adding to my amusement is the hosting website’s administrative statement, immediately following the above: “to report any abusive, obscene, defamatory, racist, homophobic or threatening comments, or anything that may violate any applicable laws, please send an e-mail to…”

Musky Matthew McConaughey

HUDSON BEGGED SMELLY McCONAUGHEY TO WEAR DEODORANT

Kate Hudson was so put off by her Fool’s Gold co-star Matthew Mcconaughey’s natural odour she begged him to reconsider his no-deodorant stance for love scenes. The movie hunk famously refuses to wear scents – something which his latest co-star found disgusting.

He reveals, “She always brings a salt rock, which is some natural deodorant, and says, ‘Would you please put this on?’ “I just never wore it. No cologne, no deodorant.” McConaughey insists Hudson is his only co-star who has ever complained about his smell, adding that a good diet and regular showers help him stay fresh.

He adds, “I take a few (showers) a day.” (source)

I’m sure you’re a very cleanliness-conscious guy, Matt, but the bit about the good diet is a load of crap. There is no diet which prevents bacteria from proliferating in the vicinity of the armpit. And as for the showers: I’m sure those help for a while, but my guess is that your armpits really do begin to stink under hot lights on the set.

I surmise that no one else complained about your pit odor because 1.) They weren’t outspoken enough to mention that you smell like a locker room 2.) They were so awed by your star status that they overlooked it (but probably whispered about it when your back was turned).

This is planet Earth, and people are people, wherever you go.

You’re completely free to continue avoiding deodorants, Matthew. Just don’t tell us that our noses are deceiving us. You might also consider moving to France, where no one will notice.* Heaven knows, you can probably afford it.