This Coke Smells Like Crap

Snorting coke is very glamorous.

A Boston woman was arrested recently at Logan International Airport as she attempted to smuggle cocaine, packed in a bag of dirty diapers,  into the U.S.  She claims that she did not know what she was transporting, but that she owed aman in the Dominican Republic money, and this is how she was paying off her debt

The drugs were discovered when other passengers complained about a putrid smell emanating from a particular piece of luggage.

Source

Montreal Carjacker Steals Van Packed with Dirty Diapers

(What a hose-head – ed.)

Via globalsaskatoon.com

Carjacker steals van toting 500 pounds of dirty diapers

It’s one of the most unusual thefts, let alone stinky.

But on Tuesday, diaper delivery truck driver Marc Sabourin was carjacked.

On a break between deliveries, a man wearing a leather jacket and aviator sunglasses approached Sabourin and asked if he was selling something.

“I said, ‘I don’t sell anything, ‘I’m a diaper delivery service.’ Then he jams the car door open and says, ‘Get out’,” Sabourin explained….

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A stinky letter

SANFORD, Fla., Nov. 17 (UPI) — Police in Florida said a high school principal received a profane letter in an envelope smeared with feces.

Sanford police Sgt. David Morgenstern said a Seminole High School employee was putting the 6-inch-by-8-inch envelope into Principal Mike Gaudreau’s mailbox when she noticed the foul smell, the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Wednesday.

Police said the worker and three or four other school employees who touched the envelope while trying to determine the cause of the odor were placed in quarantine until the Seminole County Fire Department’s Hazardous Materials team identified the substance as excrement.

“We were concerned at first,” Morgenstern said. “You could mask some sort of chemical. We wanted to make sure all the faculty and students were safe.”

Morgenstern said the envelope contained a letter with “colorful language talking about the high school principal.”

The spokesman said police were investigating and the person behind the letter could face a charge of disrupting a school function.

“There are no real charges for sending a poopy letter,” Morgenstern said.

Source

Dirty Thief

An elderly Australian woman was pelted with human feces while withdrawing cash from an ATM and then robbed by a man posing as a good citizen.

The 85-year-old victim was hit from behind with the feces just as she withdrew an undetermined amount of cash from a Chatswood ATM, Adelaide Now reports.

Police said a stranger then came to the woman’s aid and helped her to a washroom to clean herself before reaching in her handbag and stealing her wallet with the cash.

Police are looking for a stocky Asian man around 40 years old wearing a baseball cap. They believe the attacker and the thief are the same person.

That really stinks.

Source: http://blogs.app.com/saywhat/2010/11/03/woman-hit-with-poo-at-atm-robbed-by-good-samaritan/

Mr. Crabs Barred From Public Transit

The following comes to us via Lisa, in reply to “Bill To Ban B.O….Fails.”   I think you will agree that it’s a pretty clear-cut case of when someone should be barred from riding public transit.

From The Northern Light Police Report, Whatcom County, WA (some of the best reading in newspapers these days BTW)

August 28: A Whatcom Transit driver had to call police to intercede with an angry customer at a downtown bus stop. The customer was denied boarding because he was carrying a smelly, large plastic bag leaking fluid. He took offense at this, argued with the driver and then stood in the street to block the bus. The man explained to arriving officers that the bag contained fresh crab, and the leaking material was just seawater and crab juice. He was advised of the bus driver’s rights and responsibilities, and that blocking a vehicle constituted criminal disorderly conduct. Ultimately, the crabber decided to find alternative transportation and the driver departed on his seafood free bus route.

Mister Crabs is clearly at fault, here. Crab juice and seawater dripping all over the interior of the bus? That would REEK,  long after Mr. Crabs was gone.

Oooh, that smell…

Karl Marx, when elucidating his theory of communism, wrote that “All social rules and all relations between individuals are eroded by a cash economy; avarice drags Pluto himself out of the bowels of the earth.”  While I would take issue with the absolute quality of this statement, there is absolutely no doubt that money – or the lack thereof – often makes people do strange and seemingly unconsciable things.

The following is a perfect example of this: lacking payment for his services, what did this funeral director do with the body?

Funeral director allegedly leaves corpse in hearse

GADSDEN, Ala. (AP) — A funeral director faces a felony charge after police found a woman’s decomposing body in the back of a hearse. Police said the 76-year-old funeral home owner was charged Tuesday with abusing a corpse. Police said the woman died of natural causes in November 2007 at the age of 52. Relatives said they wanted her remains cremated.

But police said the family never signed papers for a cremation or paid the funeral home. So the owner allegedly put the body in the back of a hearse and parked it on a lot with other old vehicles.

Someone complained about a foul odor, leading officers to discover the decomposing remains.

Source

Okay, I have no patience with this. Retire that old fucker and nominate him to the Hall of Shame.

Trainspotting Toilet Scene (Caution!)

Some have speculated that the “Mr. Creosote Scene” from Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life (see below) is the most revolting in 20th century cinema. Having recently seen Trainspotting (1996) for the first time, I have to say it’s a serious contender; I find it far, far more revolting than Mr. Creosote.

Cautions:

• If you haven’t seen the movie and you’re a fan of Ewan McGregor, you might want to skip this clip.

• If you’re incapable of clinical detachment, and tend to retch when seeing revolting things, you should probably skip it.

• If you watch it, and it severely grosses you out or ruins your dinner…well, I warned you.

Mr. Creosote

WARNING!

The following scene is not for those with weak constitutions.

Wikipedia has this to say about it:

It has been suggested that the scene is one of the most repulsive in twentieth-century cinema. Director Quentin Tarantino has confessed to being nauseated by this scene, but critics with stronger stomachs have praised its dark humour. (Leonard Maltin noted it as “an unforgettable scene, like it or not.”) It was filmed in the Porchester Centre, a public building owned by the City of Westminster on Porchester Road, London.

FYI, Mr. Creosote is played by Terry Jones.

Aussie Prime Minister has a snack

From 2007–

A Surfeit of Malodorous Vapors

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putrefaction noun

pu·tre·fac·tion \pyü-trə-ˈfak-shən\

Etymology:
Middle English putrefaccion, from Late Latin putrefaction-, putrefactio, from Latin putrefacere 14th century

1. the decomposition of organic matter; especially : the typically anaerobic splitting of proteins by bacteria and fungi with the formation of foul-smelling incompletely oxidized products
2. the state of being putrefied : corruption

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Corpse stench drives Russian doomsday cult from cave

May 15, 2008

MOSCOW (AFP) — Toxic fumes from rotting corpses drove the final members of a Russian doomsday cult from the cave where they had been waiting six months for the end of the world, officials said Friday.

Eight women and one man emerged from the muddy bunker outside a village in the region of Penza, 560 kilometres (350 miles) southeast of Moscow, said Tatyana Ostrovskaya, a spokeswoman for the local prosecutor’s office.

“The last nine people came to the surface after the bodies of two women were found,” Ostrovskaya told AFP.

Interfax news agency quoted local official Vladimir Provotorov as saying that everyone left because there was “a real threat of poisoning from toxic corpse fumes” from two deceased cult members rotting in the cave.

“We could smell it through the ventilation shaft,” he was quoted by RIA Novosti news agency as saying. “When the specialists took out the dead hermits, we asked the others if they would like to leave, and they agreed.”

The cultists were part of an ultra-Orthodox Christian splinter group, led by bearded guru Pyotr Kuznetsov, who reject the modern world and believe that bar codes on food products are a symbol of the devil.

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