Dumplestiltskin

52 Ways to Make

52 Ways to Make

When you can walk the toilet paper without tearing it, little pooper, then it will be time for you to go.

Thar Be Boobies

I’ve always thought bedroom role-playing was kind of silly, and the step beyond that – “furry culture” – absolutely makes my skin crawl. Some people are into it, though, and go to great lengths: props, elaborate costumes, etc. This video short from “Robot Chicken,” entitled “Thar Be Boobies,” doesn’t go so far as that, and its outcome is less than satisfying for the participants, but it does serve to make a point: all ye lasses who thrill to the idea of a bawdy romp with a Corsair from days of yore, be glad...yea, verily, be overjoyed that it’s naught but a fantasy, because the reality….well, you really don’t want to go there.

On Polishing a Turd

In a recent discussion over at Google+, someone used the metaphorical term “polish a turd.” I sat and thought about that concept over my morning coffee (heaven forbid, but there it is). Then I Googled it. And sure enough, it is possible to make a grogan gleam, to make shit shine, to make dookie dazzle, yea, verily, to impart a luster to a log. But I’m quite sure turd polishing is not going to become an art form anytime soon. However, I could be wrong; this is America.

The inimitable Mythbusters demonstrate, here: http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/polishing-a-turd-minimyth.htm

What’s up Your Butt

Public health advertisements which read “What’s up your butt?” and feature people with pained expressions on their faces, will not grace billboards in Benton and Franklin counties after all. It’s probably for the best: I know that the sight of someone grimacing because the doc is plumbing their back-passage doesn’t exactly inspire me to head down to the clinic to get my keester probed. Might as well have them biting down on a pencil.

Via the Bellingham, WA Herald

Health district pulls out of colon cancer campaign

KENNEWICK — The Benton Franklin Health District will not endorse a colon cancer billboard campaign after all.

Benton County Commissioner Jim Beaver, who is chairman the health district board, announced Thursday, “Benton County won’t be a supporter of that particular advertisement and that campaign.”

Plans were to bring the “What’s up your butt?” campaign from Yakima County to the Tri-Cities. It uses provocative language to encourage testing for colon cancer.

Read more: http://www.bellinghamherald.com/2011/04/22/1980473/benton-franklin-health-district.html#storylink=mirelated#ixzz1NWTDYpPJ

This Coke Smells Like Crap

Snorting coke is very glamorous.

A Boston woman was arrested recently at Logan International Airport as she attempted to smuggle cocaine, packed in a bag of dirty diapers,  into the U.S.  She claims that she did not know what she was transporting, but that she owed aman in the Dominican Republic money, and this is how she was paying off her debt

The drugs were discovered when other passengers complained about a putrid smell emanating from a particular piece of luggage.

Source

Montreal Carjacker Steals Van Packed with Dirty Diapers

(What a hose-head – ed.)

Via globalsaskatoon.com

Carjacker steals van toting 500 pounds of dirty diapers

It’s one of the most unusual thefts, let alone stinky.

But on Tuesday, diaper delivery truck driver Marc Sabourin was carjacked.

On a break between deliveries, a man wearing a leather jacket and aviator sunglasses approached Sabourin and asked if he was selling something.

“I said, ‘I don’t sell anything, ‘I’m a diaper delivery service.’ Then he jams the car door open and says, ‘Get out’,” Sabourin explained….

Read more

Utah Lad Wins 36th National Odor-Eaters Rotten Sneaker Contest

Excerpt from full article in the Deseret Times:

They rated the shoes for condition and smell, eventually settling on [Sterling] Brinkerhoff’s torn, once-white low cuts as the worst of the worst.

“They were foul,” said Fraser, a 17-time judge. “There were two or three (entries) that were the kind you smell from a distance.”

The Brown Marmorated Stinkbug: Coming soon to your neighborhood….

…if they’re not already there, that is.

I have smelled this bug. It does indeed smell foul, but not in the way you might think. It’s not a fecal sort of smell, nor does it smell like decaying flesh or garbage. It’s a pungent, difficult to describe sort of smell, more akin to a noxious chemical than something organic. It’s the kind of stink that you imagine you can still smell hours after your first whiff.

Or maybe you can…smell it hours later, that is.

Read about it

Beware: Very Stinky

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Image credit: The Bugwood Network/Wikimedia Commons

 

 

 

The Voodoo Lily: “Dead mice in a plastic bag.”

Via msnbc.com

Voodoo lily blooms — and the stench is unreal
Odor of Minnesota Zoo flower just as advertised: ‘Dead mice in a plastic bag’

By Andrea Mustain
Our Amazing Planet

A voodoo lily at the Minnesota Zoo has finally begun to flower, and the rare, oversized bloom, with its signature scent of death and decay, is bringing in a cloud of intrigued admirers….

Read more
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Image credit: U.S. Botanic Garden/Wikimedia Commons