There’s an episode of Family Guy where Peter has liposuction, which turns him into a beautiful person. In short order, he is invited to join an exclusive club for beautiful people, and on the inaugural tour of the facilities his host hands him a bottle of pills: “Here, take these – they’ll make your bowel movements smell like bakery fresh cinnamon rolls.”
Ben Franklin addressed this speculative idea over two centuries ago – that flatus (farts) might someday be rendered innocuous by taking some manner of drug or substance:
My prize question therefore should be, To discover some drug wholesome and not disagreeable, to be mixed with our common food, or sauces, that shall render the natural discharges, of wind from our bodies, not only inoffensive, but agreeable as Perfumes.
That this is not a chimerical Project, and altogether impossible, may appear from these considerations. That we already have some knowledge of the means capable of varying that smell. He that dines on stale flesh, especially with much addition of onions, shall be able to afford a stink that no company can tolerate; while he that has lived for some time on vegetables only, shall have that breath so pure as to be insensible to the most delicate noses; and if he manage so as to avoid the report, he may any where give vent to his griefs unnoticed….
From Fart Proudly: Writings of Benjamin Franklin You Never Read in School, edited by Carl Japikse.
Well, such a product has arrived. Misanthrope and skeptic that I am, I am inclined to doubt its efficacy sight unseen waft unsmelled, but this new product called Whiff!, pushed (yes, that’s the right word) at a website with the evocative name takeawhiff.com claims that their product will render your poop and farts odorless (except in the case of avid meat-eaters, in which case the original essence of the miasma will remain, merely diminished in potency).
Posted in Dookie, emissions, flatulence, Stink Interdiction, Stinky Advertising, Stinky People, Stinky products, Wind
Tagged chloropyll, claims, drug, farts, FDA, flatulence, flatus, gas, herbal, herbs, jerusalem artichoke, odor, pills, poop, prevent, product, regulations, remedy, smell, stink
Whether you’re on the sending or the receiving end of the “pause that refreshes/repulses,” Dairiair LLC makes a line of products that dampen the smell, or both the sound and the smell. One of their products which seems particularly useful in this respect – and which I think may catch on – is the “GasBGon Seat Cushion.” Retailing at $24.95 U.S., and offered in a variety of designs subsumed under the themes of sport (“Tush Down Sport Series”), gambling, (“Holdem Big Slick Chillin’ Series”) and the swanky, upscale (“Black Cushion Signature Series”), one of these is a gift that is sure to please not only the recipient, but all those who have to be around him/her.
The GasBGon® flatulence odor control seat cushion is a high performance air filter designed to look and feel like a conventional seat cushion incorporating a sound dampening filter and a proprietary activated carbon odor filter. The seat cushion functions as a powerful passive control device to effectively muffle the sound and adsorb the odor associated with flatulence. Each cushion is complete with a washable zippered cover for filter insertion/replacement, they are lightweight (less than 1 lb) and are nominally 15 inches square and 1 inch thick. Each cushion comes complete with a sound and odor filter and a Tally-Toot card. A downloadable wind instrument award can be provided for those gift giving occasions. Each cushion can accept a second odor filter for those heavy end users and should be purchased separately. Installation by purchaser.
Posted in Arse, emissions, flatulence, Stink Interdiction, Stinky People, Uncategorized, Wind
Tagged activated, charcoal, control, cushion, elimination, farts, flatulence, gas, mask, odor, pillow, product, smell, stench, stink
And here’s a clip of Howard Stern and David Letterman discussing the product. Note what happens at the end of the video. Never seen that before. They’re really pushing that Nodoro.
Posted in Miasma, Stink Interdiction, Stinky Parts, Stinky People, Stinky Video
Tagged David Letterman, deoderant, Howard Stern, Male Genital Odor, MGO, Nodoro, product
Now you, too, can have a minty fresh arse, with Sphincterine.™
Posted in Arse, Stink Interdiction, Stinky People, The Unwashed Masses
Tagged behind, butt, cleansing, crack, deoderant, deoderize, fresh, freshening, mint, minty, posterior, product, Sphincterine
Mint shoes spare Japanese the shame of smelly feet
TOKYO: Worried your feet smell? In Japan, where people take off their shoes inside homes and many bars and restaurants, a shoe maker has created an insole with a mint aroma that covers up the odour of socks and feet.
The insole is fitted inside the shoe, allowing the wearer to pump mint fumes with every step. It has been a hit with businesspeople, said Yukio Aoyama, president of its maker, Tokyo-based S.A.I. International. “Businessmen here tend to wear leather shoes and I think many are bothered by their foot odour,” he said.
Japanese-style restaurants, where customers leave their shoes in lockers by the door, say minty shoes could help business.
“Many female customers wearing boots seem to worry about their foot smell and refuse to take them off,” said Hisako Washio, 59, who runs a restaurant in central Tokyo. “So even when we have empty seats they don’t want to sit.”
A pair of insoles costs about 3,000 yen ($28), and the mint aroma lasts for about six months, Aoyama said. (source)
Remember – the shame of stinky feet can lead to Sepaku!
Posted in Stink Interdiction, Stinky Feet, The Unwashed Masses
Tagged cooling, deoderant, feet, fetish, foot odor, foot smell, freshening, Japan, Japanese, minty, product, smelly feet, stink
Solution to Smelly Socks
IGA is currently trialing a new product called SOS which stands for Solution to Smelly Socks. [that would be “SSS.” I think “Save Our Socks” would be a better slogan, but whatever – editor]
The Melbourne-based industrial chemical company, Van Eyk, has launched SOS but is interested in hearing from other brokers as it seeks wider distribution.
SOS contains a high-performance antimicrobal agent in a 250ml plastic bottle. The product is poured into the fabric dispensing unit of a washing machine.
Product manager, Cindy Luttuschka, said SOS was capable of keeping cotton, cotton blends, rayon and hemp fresh for up to four weeks. (source)
That’s right – Cat Crap™ brand lip balm. You can get it here. The name is where the resemblance to that other odoriferous substance ends – this product is described as “minty.” You may read user reviews, here.
This, in turn, is a spin off of Cat Crap™ anti-fog lens cleaner.