A Malodorous Bloom

Smelly Orlando Bloom Needs To Wash More

Model girlfriend kicks up a stink over his poor personal hygiene…

Orlando Bloom’s on-off girlfriend, Miranda Kerr, is reportedly insisting the actor clean up his act – literally….

Read it (entertainmentwise.com)

Those smelly Serbians…

Boss Bans Smelly Undies

The boss of a Serbian company has banned staff from coming into work with dirty underwear.

Milomir Gligorijevic said: “I am fed up with people with poor personal hygiene standards. I have now made it a sackable offence for people to come in without having a shower – or with dirty underwear.”

He has also banned staff from smelling after eating garlic – warning that they need to make sure they brush their teeth – and use perfume and deodorant.

Gligorijevic, who runs a 30-staff stationery company in the capital Belgrade, sent out an official memo to all employees demanding they adopt good standards of personal hygiene. The memo warned all employees to make sure they brush their teeth, take showers regularly and change their underpants every day. He did not say how he would make sure his clean underpants rule was followed but warned it would be enforced. ananova

From the [Pakistan] Daily Times

British Airways: The Dead Fly First Class

BA sat corpse in first class

A BRITISH Airways passenger travelling first class has described how he woke up on a long-haul flight to find that cabin crew had placed a corpse in his row.

The body of a woman in her seventies, who died after the plane left Delhi for Heathrow, was carried by cabin staff from economy to first class, where there was more space. Her body was propped up in a seat, using pillows.

The woman’s daughter accompanied the corpse, and spent the rest of the journey wailing in grief.

Paul Trinder, who awoke to see the body at the end of his row, last week described the journey as “deeply disturbing”, and complained that the airline dismissed his concerns by telling him to “get over it”.

Read the entire article

Corpse Buddy

Man lived with lodger’s body for years

An elderly man lived for years with the body of his dead lodger on the sofa of his council flat in Bristol.

The man, who is in his seventies, never reported the death of his dead friend and officials never suspected anything despite a stench that neighbours complained about repeatedly.

The corpse was found in the living room after council workers finally responded to complaints about the foul smell coming from the flat.

It is not clear how long the corpse remained in the flat. One neighbour told the Bristol Evening Post that he moved into his flat eight years ago after the previous tenants left because of the vile stench – but police dismissed reports that it could have been there for a decade.

A police spokesman said: “It has been suggested that the body may have been there for as long as ten years. This is incorrect, although it is fair to say we believe it was there for several years.

Read the entire article

Top 5 posts

The top five posts at Things That Stink, for the last 90 days, were:

• Tonsilloliths

• Michelle Obama on Barack: “snore-y and stinky guy”

• Musky Matthew McConaughey

• Tales From the Nasty Chair

• Classifying Crap: The Bristol Stool Scale

And since, out of these five posts, “Musky Matthew McConaughey” is the most recent, by far (Feb. 1), it appears that the earthy miasma of this Tinseltown hunkster’s armpits (according to Fool’s Gold co-star Kate Hudson) deeply interests some people.

Oh – and I should note that some of the incoming links on the Matthew McConaughey post are from gay sites, replete with generally artless photos of large tumescent appendages. Henceforth, I think I will call this the “Flamin’ response” which is a play on the scientific term, “Flehmen Response,” a phenomenon which has everything to do with the sense of smell.

“Flehmen response” in the common Tapir (Tapirus terrestrsis)

Food Service Employees Must Wash

Almost goes without saying, right?

Wrong.

Businesses beware of how you treat stink, stinkers

Beth Stephenson
The Edmond Sun

EDMOND, OKLAHOMA— We love our pretty town and cheer for local businesses to do well, but lately, I’ve had my loyalty a little bruised. It’s one issue if the product or service is not to my taste, but often the issue is customer service or something more subtle that can and ought to be corrected. Edmond businesses reflect on our whole city, so let’s shape up some of these little problems.

Your employees must wash. Not only their bodies and hair, but also their clothing. It’s one thing for a laborer to get a little ripe, but if that happens, they need to stay in the open air. It’s horrid if that stinker is handling your food….

Read the entire article

Nuked Dookie

Yet another odoriferous incident from the state in which I live, but this one much, much fouler than the story preceding this. In fact, you might not even want to read it if you’re not capable of “clinical detachment.”

Also, if you harbor any sort of misanthropic sentiments, this is not going to improve your overall opinion of humanity.

Foul Odor Leads to Shocking Discovery in Bremerton Apartment Building

BREMERTON

A foul smell that had been irritating tenants at an apartment building turned out to be an unkind gift left in the microwave.

An 87-year-old woman on Wednesday called Bremerton police to her apartment building on the 100 block of Lafayette Avenue North to tell police about the discovery, reports said.

The woman said on Monday evening she heard several complaints about the smell, a “foul odor.”

The woman looked for the source of the noxious stench, but was unable to find it until another resident told her it seemed to be emanating from a recreation room to which all residents have access.

The smell led her to the microwave.

“Inside the microwave, there was a substance that she determined was human feces,” the officer wrote in the report. “She said that it was not in any type of container and that it had been partially melted in the microwave.”

There were no suspects. The woman said she didn’t believe anyone in the apartment complex would do such a thing. (source)

How would you punish something like that? Any conventional penalty just doesn’t seem…well, creative enough.

Here’s a suggested warning label for microwaves, in case of “copycat crimes.”