Tag Archives: feces

On Polishing a Turd

polished-poopIn a recent discussion over at Google+, someone used the metaphorical term “polish a turd.” I sat and thought about that concept over my morning coffee (heaven forbid, but there it is). Then I Googled it. And sure enough, it is possible to make a grogan gleam, to make shit shine, to make dookie dazzle, yea, verily, to impart a luster to a log. But I’m quite sure turd polishing is not going to become an art form anytime soon. However, I could be wrong; this is America.

The inimitable Mythbusters demonstrate, here: http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/polishing-a-turd-minimyth.htm

A stinky letter

SANFORD, Fla., Nov. 17 (UPI) — Police in Florida said a high school principal received a profane letter in an envelope smeared with feces.

Sanford police Sgt. David Morgenstern said a Seminole High School employee was putting the 6-inch-by-8-inch envelope into Principal Mike Gaudreau’s mailbox when she noticed the foul smell, the Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported Wednesday.

Police said the worker and three or four other school employees who touched the envelope while trying to determine the cause of the odor were placed in quarantine until the Seminole County Fire Department’s Hazardous Materials team identified the substance as excrement.

“We were concerned at first,” Morgenstern said. “You could mask some sort of chemical. We wanted to make sure all the faculty and students were safe.”

Morgenstern said the envelope contained a letter with “colorful language talking about the high school principal.”

The spokesman said police were investigating and the person behind the letter could face a charge of disrupting a school function.

“There are no real charges for sending a poopy letter,” Morgenstern said.

Source

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Dirty Thief

An elderly Australian woman was pelted with human feces while withdrawing cash from an ATM and then robbed by a man posing as a good citizen.

The 85-year-old victim was hit from behind with the feces just as she withdrew an undetermined amount of cash from a Chatswood ATM, Adelaide Now reports.

Police said a stranger then came to the woman’s aid and helped her to a washroom to clean herself before reaching in her handbag and stealing her wallet with the cash.

Police are looking for a stocky Asian man around 40 years old wearing a baseball cap. They believe the attacker and the thief are the same person.

That really stinks.

Source: http://blogs.app.com/saywhat/2010/11/03/woman-hit-with-poo-at-atm-robbed-by-good-samaritan/

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Filled his pants

Via Fist Of Blog

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A smelly slogan

Last August, after an all day airshow, my brother and I were making the long trek across the brown fields back to the car when we encountered a spilled porta-pottie. A truck had been transporting the odoriferous receptacle and it had been upset somehow, dumping its contents onto the ground.

The smell was abominable and we gave it wide berth, but not before I snapped a picture of the tanker truck that was there to vacuum up the mess–

No. 1 in the No. 2 business

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Another raunchy cat-house

This is third story I’ve run on a home overrun with cats and feces. I’ve decided to establish a separate category for this topic.

This time the house is in Villa Park, Orange County, CA. Kind of a sad story, actually. And the old lady’s son is a sorry-assed excuse for that title. Dude, she changed your shitty drawers and kept you warm and fed when you were young and helpless.

More evidence that this society marginalizes the old. But I’ve got news for you, in that case. Prepare to be marginalized, because you’re going there. All of you.

Elder abuse suspected at putrid Villa Park house

crazy-cat-lady-action-figure.jpgThe 53-year-old son of an elderly woman whose filthy Villa Park home was overrun with cats — both living and dead — is under investigation for elder abuse, Orange County sheriff’s officials said Thursday.

Paramedics called to the home this month found Mary Maloney, 76, lying outside on a blanket; she was covered with sores and skin rashes, authorities said. When deputies investigated, they found cat feces 2 feet high in places, urine-soaked walls and carpets, and trash everywhere.

A dead cat was found in a piano.

A cat’s skull was on a kitchen counter.

In all, 16 cats were found alive and four dead….

Read the entire story

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“The Scoop on Poop”

The original (purportedly) poop FAQ. Everything you didn’t want to know about the brown stuff. Bonus: A photo of giant African land-snail poop.

http://www.heptune.com/poop.html

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Busted: Psycho Dog People

Dog-filth suspects were investigated last year

Psycho Dog PeopleThe women accused of serially trashing rental homes by packing them with unsupervised pets received a visit from BSO and DCF after neighbors complained of smelling dog feces last year.

A year before Broward sheriff’s deputies arrested a mother and her daughter on charges they wrecked rental homes with more than five dozen unwalked, unkempt dogs, authorities got a whiff of their scent.

On Feb. 8, 2007, a BSO deputy accompanied a Department of Children & Families investigator to the Oakland Park residence of Ann Centofanti and Ann Hesse-Centofanti for an elderly abuse investigation.

Neighbors of the Centofantis had expressed concern for the well-being of Lucy Centofanti, the family matriarch. Neighbors had not seen her in months.

Those neighbors also complained of a strong smell of dog feces coming from the home at 3475 NW 17th Ter., according to a police report.

Investigators found four dogs, some foul odor, a frail grandmother — but no sign of foul play.

In the next 12 months, the family went through at least three other homes, two of which needed to be completely gutted, and their pooch collection topped out at 63 before they called it quits, according to neighbors, landlords and the Broward Sheriff’s Office.

Earlier this week, they abandoned 46 dogs and three cats at an Oakland Park rental home that was so filled with waste deputies needed to wear hazmat suits to enter, BSO said.

Read the entire article, watch video, etc.

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55 dogs lived and crapped there…

What is it with Florida and the houses filled with excrement? Barely two weeks ago I posted about the house in Tarpon Springs, Florida, steeped in the shit of 196 cats.

This time it’s dogs. 55 of ’em. And a few cats.

Dozens of Dogs Removed From Filthy Duplex

Smells like…OAKLAND PARK, Fla. — Animal control officers said they have rescued dozens of dogs from a feces-filled home in Oakland Park.

Police said they received a call about 11 a.m. Sunday from neighbors complaining about the animals in the 1700 block of Floranada Road. Officers found 55 dogs and a few cats in the home.

Police said a woman who lived in the duplex moved out and asked someone to look after the animals.

Deputies found the dogs and cats living in “filth and squalor along with a noxious stench of animal excrement,” according to a press release.

Animal control officers removed three truckloads of about a dozen dogs early in the afternoon and then returned for the rest, police said.

The case is under investigation. (source)

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Tyrannosaurus Turd

Well, it probably was smelly once. About 65 million years ago.

Coprolite

This chunk of fossilized dino-dung, otherwise known as a “coprolite,” was discovered in Saskatchewan in 1995, and is believed to have been deposited by a T. rex. It is roughly a foot in length.

Read the article, “A king-sized theropod coprolite found in Saskatchewan.”

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