Tag Archives: England

A malodorous wind

According to a variety of news sources, a change in normal weather patterns has caused a stench from continental Europe to waft across the UK, generating masses of complaints. Predictably, the British wry sense of humor has named this malodorous wind “Das Stink” and “Le Pong.”

Stench from Europe wafts over Britain

A vile stench emanating from the industrial heartlands of Europe has engulfed southern England as freak weather conditions blew pungent continental odours across the Channel on Friday.

The Met Office received hundreds of calls from members of the public complaining about the disgusting smell, which had migrated from the farming and industrial areas of Germany, Belgium and Holland.

Stench from Europe wafts over Britain
The smell even offended nostrils in London

“Das stink” or “le pong” even infiltrated BBC television studios through the corporation’s air conditioning system.

The gut-wrenching smell was reported in Suffolk, Surrey, Oxfordshire, Berkshire, Kent, Hertfordshire and all across London….

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Corpse Buddy

Man lived with lodger’s body for years

corpsebuddy.pngAn elderly man lived for years with the body of his dead lodger on the sofa of his council flat in Bristol.

The man, who is in his seventies, never reported the death of his dead friend and officials never suspected anything despite a stench that neighbours complained about repeatedly.

The corpse was found in the living room after council workers finally responded to complaints about the foul smell coming from the flat.

It is not clear how long the corpse remained in the flat. One neighbour told the Bristol Evening Post that he moved into his flat eight years ago after the previous tenants left because of the vile stench – but police dismissed reports that it could have been there for a decade.

A police spokesman said: “It has been suggested that the body may have been there for as long as ten years. This is incorrect, although it is fair to say we believe it was there for several years.

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In Days of Olde…

…the shit ran freely in the streets.

Gardy Loo!

An excerpt from Christine A. Powell’s excellent online essay, “A Matter of Convenience”

In Renaissance Scotland, the housewives threw their chamberpot contents and slops out the windows with the cry “Gardy Loo!” (This evidently derived from the French “Gardez l’eau,” meaning “Look out for the water!”) Unfortunately, the sound of the cry and the discarded material often arrived simultaneously. Woe to the one who looked up to see what was happening. It is believed that this may be the origin of the British term “loo” for a toilet (Pudney, 28-9). The high-rises of Edinburgh were hardly the only places in Europe to present a sanitation problem during this era.

Indeed, the period from 1550 to 1750 has been called the “two rather insanitary centuries.” When the court of Charles II spent the summer of 1665 in Oxford, the local diarist Anthony Wood observed they were “nasty and beastly, leaving at their departure their excrements in every corner, in chimneys, studies, coalhouses, [and] cellars.” Contemporary accounts and engravings frequently illustrate the morning ritual in English and Scottish cities of emptying one’s ordure out of upper-floor windows into the streets beneath (Wright, 75-8). It was not until the mid-1800s, when Dr. John Snow proved the connection between cholera and sewage-polluted drinking water, that cities began to control their waste (Colman, 46). There is no reason to suppose that Port Royal and other contemporary cities in the colonies were any cleaner than those in Europe during the “insanitary centuries.” (source)

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Mr. Methane

Meet “Mr. Methane,” of mrmethane.com, who purports to be the “world’s only performing flatulist.”

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Henry VIII was rotten…

Stinky Hank

…both literally, and figuratively, according to my late Grandmother, who was something of an “expert” on the English monarchies. So rotten, that when a group of men carried his dead body out, three died from the smell alone.

As a long-standing legend, this is delightful – the stuff that fishwives tales are made of. How fitting that this murderous megalomaniac, this bloated, syphlitic adulterer, none too clean to start with (this was in the days when the ostensibly “clean” people took baths once a month) should end up in such a state.

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