Tag Archives: dung

“The Scoop on Poop”

The original (purportedly) poop FAQ. Everything you didn’t want to know about the brown stuff. Bonus: A photo of giant African land-snail poop.

http://www.heptune.com/poop.html

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Tyrannosaurus Turd

Well, it probably was smelly once. About 65 million years ago.

Coprolite

This chunk of fossilized dino-dung, otherwise known as a “coprolite,” was discovered in Saskatchewan in 1995, and is believed to have been deposited by a T. rex. It is roughly a foot in length.

Read the article, “A king-sized theropod coprolite found in Saskatchewan.”

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Nuked Dookie

Yet another odoriferous incident from the state in which I live, but this one much, much fouler than the story preceding this. In fact, you might not even want to read it if you’re not capable of “clinical detachment.”

Also, if you harbor any sort of misanthropic sentiments, this is not going to improve your overall opinion of humanity.

Foul Odor Leads to Shocking Discovery in Bremerton Apartment Building

BREMERTON

A foul smell that had been irritating tenants at an apartment building turned out to be an unkind gift left in the microwave.

An 87-year-old woman on Wednesday called Bremerton police to her apartment building on the 100 block of Lafayette Avenue North to tell police about the discovery, reports said.

The woman said on Monday evening she heard several complaints about the smell, a “foul odor.”

The woman looked for the source of the noxious stench, but was unable to find it until another resident told her it seemed to be emanating from a recreation room to which all residents have access.

The smell led her to the microwave.

“Inside the microwave, there was a substance that she determined was human feces,” the officer wrote in the report. “She said that it was not in any type of container and that it had been partially melted in the microwave.”

There were no suspects. The woman said she didn’t believe anyone in the apartment complex would do such a thing. (source)

How would you punish something like that? Any conventional penalty just doesn’t seem…well, creative enough.

Here’s a suggested warning label for microwaves, in case of “copycat crimes.”

Warning Label

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A Crappy Cup of Coffee

From Animalcoffee.com

Shitty Coffee“Treat yourself to the worlds finest coffee with kopi luwak from Animalcoffee; the only source on the internet for authentic premium kopi luwak. Kopi luwak is a unique gourmet coffee that is processed in the stomach of a wild animal, after which it is hand collected from the floor of the Sumatran jungle. Annual global supply is estimated to be in the vicinity of six to seven hundred pounds.”

In short, it’s shit.

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Sacred Cow ‘Naan’ Hits the Shelves in India

Jeez – and I thought “New Age” was out of control in America. Suggestion: stick with the Nag Champa.

Now Guess What Comes In Packages – Cow Dung Cakes!

[Excerpts]

Dookie cakesNews Post India, Jan 9, 2008–Don’t be surprised to find packaged cow dung cakes sitting pretty with toiletries and groceries at retail stores here.

After cow urine or ‘gau mutra’, packaged cow dung cakes or ‘kanda’ have now hit the market and they are the brainchild of the city-based Gau Sena, which literally translated means ‘cow army’.

The Gau Sena, which has launched the product under the brand Gauvar in Jaipur, claims it has mixed many ingredients in the cow dung cake so that burning it could purify the environment. The cakes would also help keep diseases at bay, the organisation claims….

…Gupta said the product has cow dung, water of the holy Ganges river*, cow urine, rose water, cow milk, items of fire sacrifice – ‘hawan samagri’, rose petals, rice, clove, cardamom, the ayurvedic product guggal, camphor, butter, sawdust of the mango tree, ‘itra’ (essence), extract of tulsi, sandalwood powder and sand from the feet of sacred cows.

Read the complete article

*Holy the Ganges may be, but it is well known that the counts of fecal coliform bacteria in the river are 3000 times higher than is considered safe in developed countries. The Ganges is one of the most polluted waterways in the world.


Addendum: Note resemblance between kanda (upper right) and Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme Pies Little Debbie Oatmeal Creme PiesLittle Debbie

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Classifying Crap: The Bristol Stool Scale

No longer is “Number 2” sufficient. Now we have poopie, types 1-7.

A play on words, “Shit-shape and Bristol-fashion” comes to mind.

From Wikipedia:

The Bristol Stool Form Scale or Bristol Stool Chart is a classification of the form, that is appearance in a toilet, of human feces into seven groups. It was developed by Dr. K. Hering at the University of Bristol and was first published in the British Medical Journal in 1990.The form of the stool depends on the time it spends in the colon.

Types 1 and 2 indicate constipation, types 3 and 4 are usually the most comfortable to pass, types 5-6 tend to be associated with urgency and type 7 is diarrhea. There have been several claimed sightings of the lord himself [?!] in type 3 but the accuracy of these claims should not be relied upon for educational purposes.

Bristol Stool Chart

Well, that’s nice to know. Let’s eat.

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Nightsoil: Human Manure

Applying Nightsoil to Garlic CropFrom the webpage “Human Manure”

“For thousands of years, China’s farmers have used human manure, or “nightsoil”, as fertilizer (King, 1911). In this example from the Tai Lake Region, nightsoil is collected and stored in large ceramic tanks or water-tight slate-lined or concrete pits. Manure and urine are collected in buckets within the household, or deposited directly in the storage tanks, which are usually located in the animal stall and toilet area of the household. Occasionally urine is collected and applied separately. It is common to mix pig manure with nightsoil in storage, as pig stalls are connected to storage tanks via a sluice, to facilitate collection of pig manure and urine. Prior to intensive use of synthetic fertilizers, nightsoil was an important fertilizer for nearly all crops, including rice and wheat. Now, nightsoil is applied mostly to small-scale vegetable plots and other rainfed household crops…. (read more)

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The Lowly Dung Beetle

All glory to the Dung Beetles, who clean up the shit without complaining.

Dung Beetle

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