Category Archives: Stinky People

Chronic Flatulence? Get the GasBGon® Seat Cushion

Whether you’re on the sending or the receiving end of the “pause that refreshes/repulses,” Dairiair LLC makes a line of products that dampen the smell, or both the sound and the smell. One of their products which seems particularly useful in this respect – and which I think may catch on – is the “GasBGon Seat Cushion.” Retailing at $24.95 U.S., and offered in a variety of designs subsumed under the themes of sport (“Tush Down Sport Series”), gambling, (“Holdem Big Slick Chillin’ Series”) and the swanky, upscale (“Black Cushion Signature Series”), one of these is a gift that is sure to please not only the recipient, but all those who have to be around him/her.

The GasBGon® flatulence odor control seat cushion is a high performance air filter designed to look and feel like a conventional seat cushion incorporating a sound dampening filter and a proprietary activated carbon odor filter. The seat cushion functions as a powerful passive control device to effectively muffle the sound and adsorb the odor associated with flatulence. Each cushion is complete with a washable zippered cover for filter insertion/replacement, they are lightweight (less than 1 lb) and are nominally 15 inches square and 1 inch thick. Each cushion comes complete with a sound and odor filter and a Tally-Toot card. A downloadable wind instrument award can be provided for those gift giving occasions. Each cushion can accept a second odor filter for those heavy end users and should be purchased separately. Installation by purchaser.

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Men: Do not staple your scrotum

I begin by noting that this is a true story, as Snopes.com details.

Scrotum Self-Repair

From the Unusual Case column of the July 1991 issue of “Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality,”

by William A. Morton, Jr.

One morning I was called to the emergency room by the head ER nurse. She directed me to a patient who had refused to describe his problem other than to say that he “needed a doctor who took care of men’s troubles.”

The patient, about 40, was pale, febrile, and obviously uncomfortable, and had little to say as he gingerly opened his trousers to expose a bit of angry red and black-and-blue scrotal skin.

After I asked the nurse to leave us, the patient permitted me to remove
his trousers, shorts, and two or three yards of foul-smelling stained
gauze wrapped about his scrotum, which was swollen to twice the size of
a grapefruit and extremely tender. A jagged zig-zag laceration, oozing
pus and blood, extended down the left scrotum.

Amid the matted hair, edematous skin, and various exudates, I saw some
half-buried dark linear objects and asked the patient what they were.
Several days earlier, he replied, he had injured himself in the machine
shop where he worked, and had closed the laceration himself with a
heavy-duty stapling gun. The dark objects were one-inch staples of the
type used in putting up wallboard.

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A Bloodsucker on the Web

Anyone who’s ever had an abcessed tooth and the resultant root canal knows the misery it can bring. It hurts like hell, and it stinks, both literally and figuratively. A rotten tooth literally stinks of putrefaction and decay, to the core. And paying $1000 for a root canal out of pocket, followed by another $1750 for the crown because you don’t have dental insurance, stinks too.

What stinks even more is when health care specialists go at their profession with the first and foremost goal of getting filthy, stinking rich on you. This stench amplifies when they botch a procedure. Which they do, more often than many people realize.

But what stinks most of all is the maggot who creates a codified system for health professionals, designed to facilitate their rise into the ranks of the rich and leisurely, with virtually no regard to the suffering engendered by the obscenely high cost of health care for young and old alike, in the United States.

Mind you, that’s just my opinion. This guy could be a saint, and I could be the bad guy here. Read it and decide for yourself.

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Romance: Gone With The Wind

Sexy, or what?Quite a few years ago, my ex-wife worked with a young lady whose husband was beset by chronic flatulence. Apparently he had decided to embrace his condition, and so he would brazenly break wind and make rude comments about it, often in the most inappropriate social settings. For example, at my wife’s company picnic as we were eating, seated at picnic tables with various of her co-workers and their families, he would from time-to-time lift an ass-cheek, let one go, and say things like, “Whoa, you’d best get upwind from that one,” or “Smell the crack of the Earth…”

Charmed, I’m sure. I’d never seen anything like it. Despite my fascination with the vulgar, even I know where the line of propriety versus impropriety falls.

After we arrived home that evening, my wife told me that this odoriferous fellow, when at home with his wife, would cut enormous protracted farts beneath the bedclothes in the morning, and then forcibly confine the poor woman’s head underneath the blankets until she could hold her breath no longer.

This is tantamount to abuse to my thinking, but what’s worse is that she was beautiful. I mean, a tall, long-legged country girl descended from German milkmaids, with golden hair, sparkling blue eyes, and a face to lauch a thousand ships.

Sigh. There’s no accounting for taste. I guess there must have been something to love about the guy, despite the affrontery of his overactive butt.

The following article was the catalyst for my calling this stinky, stinky man to mind–

Sex life has gone with husband’s wind

Q: I AND my husband are having big arguments over his disgusting habit of getting into bed every night and then spending 10 minutes breaking wind, stinking out the room.After that, I obviously have no interest whatsoever in having sex with him.

He says it’s natural, but as I have pointed out to him many times, so is going to the lavatory, but no one would dream of doing it in the bed.

We have only been married for six months. He seldom did it when we were just engaged, but he says now we’re married, he wants to be able to relax in his own bed in his own house.

Read the advice columnist’s reply

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Stinky? Wash with onions.

Don’t wash with theseOkay, so the hospital left a swab inside her body after labor, creating pain and misery, and causing a stench to develop. That’s bad. But where on earth did this woman get the idea that washing with onions was going to help?

Mother may sue over swab left in body after labour

Hendrick Mphande
HERALD REPORTER

A YOUNG Motherwell woman is considering legal action after nurses left a swab inside her body after the birth of her baby.

Naledi Maleke‘s ordeal started on the morning of January 6, 2006, when she developed labour pains and her sister and a friend took her to the Motherwell Clinic, a 10-minute drive from her parents‘ home.

She had a disagreement with a nursing sister at the clinic over how she should position herself before giving birth. The nurse apparently “developed an attitude” when she refused to lie in a position in which she felt uncomfortable.

“Two days after leaving the hospital, I started experiencing discomfort and pains in the abdominal area,” said Maleke.

“I was unable to walk properly and this was accompanied by a stench.”

After 17 days of excruciating pain along with the foul odour, the East Cape Midlands College student consulted a doctor in Kwazakhele who discovered the swab.

“I tried everything from washing with salty water and peeled onions mixed in a bucketful of water, but the awful smell I picked up after giving birth to my baby boy had a grip on me,” said Maleke….

Read the entire article

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The Ultimate Psycho-Dog-People House

I would like to say that it’s a virtual certainty that this story, which I’m posting in the “Putrid Dog Houses” category, among others, will become the eternal standard against which all other putrid dog houses will forever be judged. However, America has become the land of “outlandish excess” on practically every front, so I can offer no such certainty.

As in the other cases of psycho-pet-people houses, that said abodes stink to high heaven almost goes with saying.

800 Small Dogs Seized From Ariz. Home

By ARTHUR H. ROTSTEIN – 20 hours ago

TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) — About 800 small dogs, including Chihuahuas, terriers and Pomeranians, were seized from a triple-wide mobile home whose occupants were overwhelmed trying to care for the animals, authorities said Wednesday.

Pima County sheriff’s deputies and animal welfare officials who removed the dogs also found 82 caged parrots in the home in a rural area northwest of Tucson.

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Stinky Jobs

CNN.com/Living has posted a list, via careerbuilder.com, of 20 “offbeat jobs.” Several of these jobs involve stench in one form or another, and therefore interest us here at Things That Stink:

Breath odor evaluator

Job description: Sniff morning breath, coffee-breath, garlic breath, etc. Rate breath. Stinky subject then uses breath freshening product, odor-evaluator sniffs breath again and rates it a second time.

Flatulence smell-reduction underwear maker

Job description: Fashion special undies with built in filters to capture various noxious butt-gases (hydrogen sulfide, most notably). Worn by people with gastrointestinal problems.

Dog-breath evaluator

Job description: Sniff dog’s breath in order to evaluate effect of dog’s diet on his chops-stench. Ratings: 1-10 (10 being worst) with additional categories of sweaty, salty, musty, fungal or decaying.

Porta-potty servicer

Job description: Pretty much self-explanatory. But I betcha they find some nasty shit, both literally and figuratively, inside those stinky little booths.

See the entire list at CNN.com

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Comcast: Stinky Tactics

I got an e-mail with a video link from Tim Carr, campaign director at savetheinternet.com this morning.

We just caught Comcast Corp. stacking an FCC hearing with paid (and apparently sleepy) seat-fillers.

The hearing was set up to investigate Comcast’s recent blocking of the Internet. But Comcast packed the room so that the public couldn’t get in to voice their support for Net Neutrality.

We took pictures and recorded an interview that proves Comcast was taking seats from concerned citizens. Now, we need you to make sure that the company doesn’t get away with this ever again.

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A Malodorous Bloom

Smelly Orlando Bloom Needs To Wash More

Model girlfriend kicks up a stink over his poor personal hygiene…

Orlando Bloom’s on-off girlfriend, Miranda Kerr, is reportedly insisting the actor clean up his act – literally….

Read it (entertainmentwise.com)

Bloom and Kerr

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Those smelly Serbians…

Boss Bans Smelly Undies

The boss of a Serbian company has banned staff from coming into work with dirty underwear.

Milomir Gligorijevic said: “I am fed up with people with poor personal hygiene standards. I have now made it a sackable offence for people to come in without having a shower – or with dirty underwear.”

He has also banned staff from smelling after eating garlic – warning that they need to make sure they brush their teeth – and use perfume and deodorant.

Gligorijevic, who runs a 30-staff stationery company in the capital Belgrade, sent out an official memo to all employees demanding they adopt good standards of personal hygiene. The memo warned all employees to make sure they brush their teeth, take showers regularly and change their underpants every day. He did not say how he would make sure his clean underpants rule was followed but warned it would be enforced. ananova

From the [Pakistan] Daily Times

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