Many moons ago, circa AOL 3.0 for Win95, when the Internet was still a blank slate, a mutual friend of my roomie and I told us that he had seen a photograph on the Internet graphically displaying the act of “anallingus.” Misanthrope that I am, I did not scoff, but my roomie (being not yet wise in the ways of the world) denied that such an act was possible let alone popular.
Faced with a challenge, our mutual friend brought this photo for us to view. My roomie was scandalized, whereupon I disclosed my knowledge of a particular couple who claimed to regularly engage in this practice. I mentioned how the male of this couple had said, “It doesn’t taste bad as long as it’s clean…”
My roomie cried out, in an agonized voice, “THAT PART CAN’T BE CLEAN!!!”
Indeed. Assholes stink. Which brings us around, in a very roundabout fashion, to the subject of this post. Go listen to this charming little ditty by “Django and Chris,” the “Crackhead Beatniks,” who hold the distinction of having once been the “hottest thing to hit Laramie, Wyoming, since the Boot Scootin Boogie.” The manner in which it relates to this post will be come clear soon enough.
HU to Thumb at Fist of Blog for introducing me to this delightful post-modern interpretation of the Beat Generation’s coffeehouse craft. Kerouac, Ginsberg, eat your hearts out, whereever you are. Don’t eat anything else out, though.
Posted in Arse, emissions, Stinky Parts
Tagged arsehole, ass, beat generation, beatnik, coffeehouse, hole, interpretive, Laramie, MP3, music, stench, stink, Wyoming
CNN.com/Living has posted a list, via careerbuilder.com, of 20 “offbeat jobs.” Several of these jobs involve stench in one form or another, and therefore interest us here at Things That Stink:
Breath odor evaluator
Job description: Sniff morning breath, coffee-breath, garlic breath, etc. Rate breath. Stinky subject then uses breath freshening product, odor-evaluator sniffs breath again and rates it a second time.
Flatulence smell-reduction underwear maker
Job description: Fashion special undies with built in filters to capture various noxious butt-gases (hydrogen sulfide, most notably). Worn by people with gastrointestinal problems.
Job description: Sniff dog’s breath in order to evaluate effect of dog’s diet on his chops-stench. Ratings: 1-10 (10 being worst) with additional categories of sweaty, salty, musty, fungal or decaying.
Job description: Pretty much self-explanatory. But I betcha they find some nasty shit, both literally and figuratively, inside those stinky little booths.
See the entire list at CNN.com
Posted in Crappers (restrooms), emissions, flatulence, halitosis, Just Disgusting, Miasma, Stink Interdiction, Stinky Animals, Stinky Food, Stinky occupations, Stinky People, Stinky practices, Wind
Tagged dirty jobs, dog breath, foul, halitosis, odor, smell, stench, stink